I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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