Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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