covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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