Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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