Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
