how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
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he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
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You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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