Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
