My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
smell my finger.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
