I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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