I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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