Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
