I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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