Non-Jews are for practice
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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