I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Randomize
