He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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