yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Holy shit dude........stairs
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
