remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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