i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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