i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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