I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
