I'd wear matching sweaters with you
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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