I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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