apparently the secret to your success is patron
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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