I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
