no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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