he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
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To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
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lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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