I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
babies were throwing up all over the place
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
