i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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