He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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