i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
