The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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