I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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