I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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