i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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