I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
His nipple licking is glorious
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