You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
