For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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