There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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