You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
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I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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