mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
