If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
