Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
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She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
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How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize