I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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