I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
