So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
