Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Randomize
