did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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