Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
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I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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