Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
