i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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