party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize