I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I look better un-naked...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.