i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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