Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
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kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So vagazzling was a success
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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