She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
