I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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