I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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