Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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