Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
then he tried to convert me to islam
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
