Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
