Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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