I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
