just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
