Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
