at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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