i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
