That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
