Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
